Perfection is overrated. Sadly, the need for perfection pervades and affects even the dating field. The well-known “the one” or “Mr. Right” have foiled many dates with good potential. Debunking the ideal “the one” will make you happier in the long run. If you are among those who believe in this concept, here are some reasons you should stop:
It Makes You Passive
Mr. Right will find you even if you hide in a cave. That is how perfect he is. Wrong! Instead of trying an elite matchmaking service, you sit idly waiting for the right person to come. Holding out for “the perfect one” gives people the illusion that they do not have to do anything.
The truth is that dating and relationships are hard work. Anything worth having is worth all the effort. The right person will not come to you packaged and complete with ribbons and trimmings. You have to go out in the dating field and find them.
It Makes You Pass up Good Matches
Sometimes, you find someone and you click with this person. But because they do not meet some of the requirements on your immaculate list, you let them go. This becomes a vicious cycle as you go from one person to another. You are always dissatisfied because they are missing some “important points.”
All relationships are a work in progress. Even marriages are not exempted from this. Finding a person who will complete your requirements will never happen. You are only up for disillusionment. Also, you miss good opportunities for finding people who might be good for you. This is not about settling for less. It is being realistic.
It Makes You Miss out on Life
When you focus so much on holding out for “the perfect one,” you forget to live your life. You go chasing for a dream, too eager to achieve it that you neglect other aspects of your life. You are in the misconception that your life is not complete until you find this person.
Even without a significant other by your side, you can make your life full. Instead of seeing yourself as an incomplete person, empower yourself instead. Engage in activities that will help you develop your best version. Then, you will attract the right person.
It Makes for Unnecessary Pressure
Knowing that they are under scrutiny to fill the role of “the perfect one” is not fun. Have you tried sizing up your date and comparing them to an imaginary Mr. Right? Some people will feel indifferent to this kind of treatment. Also, they will get discouraged to show you their true selves.
It also works this way for yourself. Do you want to present yourself as “the one” to somebody? You will be too hard on yourself when you commit mistakes. You will think that you have blown up your chance. Your actions will feel very unnatural to keep up with the illusion of perfection. Nobody gets to win in such a situation.
Happy endings do exist. But it is not the glossy and perfect way some are pining for. It is accepting and loving the flaws, quirks, imperfections, and all. Removing the concept of “the one” in your system will make life easier and happier.